Truth Bombs

Last Monday, a fantasy scenario for all the bipartisan-curious politicos of this fine land played out in the Senate.

This steamy, pansexual Republican-on-Democrat action swirled around a targeted jobs-creation bill; a draft so seductive that no less than five Republicans found its comely measures irresistible enough to break away from their party and indulge in their primal legislative urges. Scott Brown (R-Mass.), Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe (R-Maine), Christopher Bond (R-Mo.), and George Voinovich (R-Ohio) were so overcome with passion on the Senate floor that they shamelessly flouted their bipartisan experimentation, breaking a threatened GOP filibuster in a sexy proposal that would extend Cobra health insurance for the unemployed, continue federal funding for highways and create a payroll tax credit for companies that hire the unemployed while renewing several stimulus  provisions that were due to expire in the coming months.

Wow, not even spicing up this senatorial summary with prurient innuendo makes it seem exciting. Detailed examination of the inner-workings of our nation's legislative gauntlet is a deadening prospect; witnessing besotted, pasty dullards with personas just amorphous enough to get elected stage flowcharted squabbles over ineffectual and ultimately compromised legislation is frustrating enough without the mind-numbing torpor of the lawmaking process. So, even when something remarkable happens in the Senate, like cloture achieved by Republican senators voting across party lines, it amounts to little more than making C-Span slightly less boring for a few days.

The idea of Republican filibuster has weighed heavily over the American legal process since Obama took office with the full throated support of a 60-seat Democratic supermajority in the senate. The 60 Democratic Senators, media pundits breathlessly reported, created a filibuster-proof legislative powerhouse, which they could theoretically wield to influence an onslaught of progressive lawmaking, regardless of the minority party's feelings on the matter.

The supermajority was going to leap tall buildings in a single bound; the Democrats, however, have failed to capitalize on this opportunity in any meaningful way, as intra-party dissent and illogical fear of Republican umbrage stymied tent pole Democratic policies like healthcare and finance reform. Then, Scott "I drive a truck" Brown was elected to Ted Kennedy's Senate seat, and the supermajority ended before it had time to learn that with great power comes great responsibility.

Predictably, the rogue Grand Old Partiers who voted for the bill have drawn the ire of the Republican establishment and conservative media voices alike. Glenn Beck took to the airwaves following the vote, commiserating that the "...tea party members woke up this morning and probably threw up a just little bit in their mouths when they read the news," before criticizing the newly elected Brown and the media hype that ensued following his victory. Brown had revitalized a wounded Republican party and sparked speculations about a 2012 presidential run, only to vote against his own party on the first major piece of legislation before him.

Nevertheless, this bill amounts to a muted victory weighted with qualifications. You see, readers, this bill is almost more notable for what it won't accomplish than what it will. A House version of the same bill would have shifted $27 billion in funds from the bank bailout to retain public employees like teachers and firefighters as well as redirect $35 billion of the same TARP monies toward infrastructure projects that would have potentially saved American jobs while generating much-needed new ones.

Democratic voters are probably expected to rejoice at last Monday's dubious victory, but encouragement is of short supply in these economic times, and the ineptitude of our elected officials to resolve the matter at hand confounds our dread.