PDA and Pride: When a simple kiss is anything but

In preparation for Valentine's Day, the Human Rights Campaign has created an online project entitled, "Share Your Love." The website so far contains several pages of pictures of couples in all sizes, shapes, colors, orientations, gender expressions and families across a multitude of forms.

The project is intended to showcase the love of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community members and allies who are pro-equality and pro-love. The only requirement when submitting a photo and story of you and your significant other or family is that you are pro-love for everyone. Pretty simple, right?

For an LGBT couple, submitting their photo online is easy enough; even if it does have your names attached, at least you won't see any glares or looks of disgust at your image on the computer screens of other people.

But a public display of affection (PDA) in the real world? That's another matter entirely.

If you're reading this and you're presently in, or have ever been in, a heterosexual relationship, you've probably held hands with your significant other while walking across campus, or cuddled together on a couch between classes, or exchanged a small kiss before you parted ways. You know – normal PDA for couples in young love.

We aren't asking that everyone be jumping each other in the hall. Unwarranted and excessive PDA, no matter who you are, can make anyone uncomfortable. But have you ever considered that there might be couples for whom PDA that is not even overt – a simple peck on the cheek, or a hand hold - can be uncomfortable?

Not because the PDA itself is uncomfortable or unappealing, but because they will endure stares and mistreatment more than a couple who fits societal ideas of what "a nice couple" ought to look like.

Some of the writers on this editorial board are in LGBT relationships, and we'd really love nothing more than to engage in some simple PDA while on campus – or really anywhere out in public – without looking over our shoulders every time to make sure we won't get "caught" by some ignorant hatemonger staring us down across the plaza, mouth agape.

The fact that heterosexual couples can engage in PDA, sometimes even to excess, without being stigmatized is a privilege that the LGBT couples on this campus envy them for.

We still walk across campus together, or sit together on the couch in the ROAR office, or share a nice meal in Clyde's.

The difference is that you would probably never be able to tell our relationship apart from a simple same-sex friendship.

We've become masters of the art of straight-acting, and it's not really a choice that we consciously made – it's simply a matter of survival.

PDA shouldn't be limited to surfacing on one day of the year, or limited to any one type of couple. Everyone should feel safe and comfortable to share their love and affection for one other.

If you're lucky to find love, which can be difficult enough, you should be able to express it with the love of your choosing. When walking the halls if you see couples, no matter what they look like or of what gender, don't gawk. Be happy for them and carry on. Pretty simple.