Indiana lawmakers focus on inconsequential “performances”

When I was young, I was told that drums were satanic and changing the words to hymns made baby Jesus cry. Now, the Indiana state legislature is telling people that changing the way the national anthem sounds makes Uncle Sam sad.

Senator Vaneta Becker recently introduced a bill in the Indiana state legislature that would charge a fine for adapting or changing the words or music to the "Star-Spangled Banner."

This is really stupid. Really, Becker? This is the important issue that needs a bill in the state legislature?

The "traditional" version of the "Star-Spangled Banner" dates back to 1931. The number one song that year was "Minnie the Moocher" by Cab Calloway. A quick search of iTunes shows that there are several different takes on Calloway's original song – which is fairly iconic on its own. There is no one yelling and screaming about "Minnie the Moocher" being changed.

The only reason why people get upset about the "Star-Spangled Banner" is that it is the national anthem. For some reason, the national anthem is being treated as a sacred song. It kind of reminds me of the outcry when performers started to put old hymns to modern music.

The cry of "you're ruining sacred music!" just doesn't seem to strike the same tone when it's the national anthem. It is a lovely song, and I personally don't care for artists taking 20 minutes to sing a 2 1/2 minute song. But the song itself isn't sacred, and changes to the words shouldn't be illegal. They aren't necessarily good, but that could be said about a lot of art.

Then there's the whole issue of censorship. For the most part, I find censorship to be completely foolish, primarily because it doesn't even accomplish its main purpose. Censorship tells consumers that they shouldn't be allowed to pick what they enjoy, but must be told what is appropriate for them to appreciate. That is frankly insulting, not only to the artist, but to the consumer.

At best, what I see happening is performers deliberately snubbing their noses at this legislation. Just the existence of the law makes me want to see a performer pony up the $25 "unapproved performance" fee and change the entire song. Hell, I'd pay the money myself.

Our economy is still in shambles, and we're just starting to turn it around. Bills that are introduced in any arm of the government should be adding jobs to the economy, or making it easier for those who have been out of work for a while to keep on just living.

They should not be adding a $25 fee if a performer changes the tune or the words to "The Star-Spangled Banner." I could think of things that are more inconsequential, but it would be difficult.

The law would also require that schools keep recordings of every performance for two years, and calls for the establishment of an office to deal with complaints regarding the national anthem. Really? Don't we have better things to do with our taxes – like create more jobs?

Couldn't schools handle complaints about the national anthem with, "I'm sorry you feel that way. Next time, can you volunteer to sing it yourself?"

These Indiana lawmakers have lost sight of what Americans care about. Yes, we can get annoyed by people singing the anthem badly. But you know what? Most of us are adults. We'll get over it. Use your elected position to actually help people, rather than just flailing about helplessly trying to find anything to do instead of your job.