Ian Penn

Thanksgiving: My favorite time of the year, when I can sit down and be thankful. Thankful that all the things I don't have are on sale.

I skipped out on enjoying the warmth of fam­ily and friends over a nice meal so I could sit in line and buy a TV that I don't need.

These soon-to-be obsolete material items are far more important than some silly memories I might create with my family. Thanksgiving to me means fighting through a crowd of sleep-deprived strangers ready to at­tack if you get between them and their deals. Nothing says love thy neighbor like pepper spraying them in the face for cutting you in line.

I thought Thanksgiving was supposed to be about being thankful for what you have, but I was glad I saw none of that last night or this morning. I'm sure I won't be this greedy next year.

I'm sure that this laptop and these "Twi­light" movies I waited in line for will somehow validate my pathetic materialistic existence.