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The Scribe - 2009 Opinion Columns
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January 2009

A word from the Writing Center

Writing beyond high school

High school teachers have engrained in our minds that a perfect paper consists of five paragraphs with five sentences each, a three point thesis, flawless grammar and a sophisticated vocabulary. This formulaic approach to paper writing is not likely to be as successful in college writing. Here are some tips from the writing center staff to help you with your writing.

Gin and clockwork

As we inaugurate a new democratic president and bid a fond farewell to what will likely be the last of the White House Bushes, many conservatives are already wondering how long this new political era will last. Personally, I’m wondering whether I should purchase enough gin to survive four years of impending irritation or eight.

Leaving a legacy: the 43rd President

Presidential legacies are a funny thing. While it’s certainly possible for public opinion polling and the enduring legacy of a president to coincide, they occasionally do not. President Lyndon B. Johnson was enjoying an 80 percent approval rating in 1964, but the conflict in Vietnam drained it to 48 percent by the time he left office. President Harry Truman was unable to muster solid approval ratings for the majority of his tenure in the White House, and he left office with a dismal 32 percent approval rating. However, his legacy is generally regarded as being quite positive.

Bumper stickers

Apparently some people haven’t heard. Our old friend John McCain isn’t going to be the President. That ship has sailed. That dream, like the proverbial bird, has flown the coop. It has breathed its last and died. It’s time to remove that McCain-Palin sticker.

Conservatives should give the president a chance

For many of Barack Obama’s detractors, one week has been long enough: Already, pundits like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are rather unintelligently scrutinizing Obama, leveling charges of “socialism” and “welfare” as Obama tries to pull the United States out of recession.

The problem with TABOR

President Obama’s proposal for a federal stimulus package has generated skepticism from legislators on both sides of the aisle, but especially from Republicans. The controversy begs the question of what role government should play in the lives of citizens. One’s answer frequently determines party affiliation, with Democrats usually favoring more government intervention and Republicans preferring that government be kept to a minimum. Recent election results, including the enormous popularity of our president, indicate a shift toward a government more actively pursuing a high quality of life. This is partially attributable to the crippling lack of social programs ensuing from the Bush administration and the recession.

February 2009

Goodbye gender and ethnic studies, hello progress

In recent years, women and people of color have reached the highest leadership positions in every regard. From politics to corporate America, those who have fought against social injustice for so many years have broken every glass ceiling and made unprecedented historical achievements.

And now I gloat for 700 words

In what might be the most awkward conversation the GOP has had since the Log Cabin Republicans came out to the religious right, Representative Davis, the retiring Republican from Virginia, said his party was at risk of becoming a regional party of rural, southern whites.

New class on bullsh*t

Communication majors at UCCS will have another course to choose from later this year. Comm. 131 has been added to the schedule for the Fall semester of 2009. The class is a study of bullshit and its practical application in 21st century America.   Following the addition of the course to the schedule, The Scribe contacted the Dean of the college of LAS, Tom Christensen, for comment.

Why I don’t wear black

The color black has become so much the de rigueur sartorial statement of the anti-hero that it has become firmly associated with an archetypal wardrobe whose expressiveness is muted by cliché. The paradox of being iconic and self-evidently lame finds a proliferation of misguided hipsters, aspiring filmmakers and, most recently, Dungeon Masters (R.

Obama caps executive pay

The sky isn’t the limit, and for good reason

The nation’s unemployment rate hit 7.6 percent last Friday. Companies across multiple sectors are posting substantial losses in their earnings reports. The housing market continues to decay. There is no question that we remain in tough economic times, and many Americans have been forced to trim their spending habits and work less hours, if they have managed to retain their employment at all.

Obama caps executive pay

The best Obama can do: executive pay-goats

Most of us like to think that government extortion in this nation is relatively rare. Isolated incidents like Rod Blagojevich’s marketing of a Senate seat happen, of course. Far from a common occurrence, though, we tend to interpret this type of behavior as a rare remnant of the corrupt, backdoor, machine politics of Chicago – in other words, ancient history.

It’s time for the Freedom Of Choice Act

In July of last year, Barack Obama told the Planned Parenthood Action Fund that his first action as president would be to “sign the Freedom of Choice Act [FOCA].” This bill, introduced in April 2007, would “protect, consistent with Roe v. Wade, a woman’s freedom to choose to bear a child or terminate a pregnancy.”


A word from the Writing Center

Ten ways to annoy your professor

10. There/their/they’re: Randomly interchange “there,” “their” and “they’re” in your paper. You will end up with some interesting and entertaining sentences, and your professor will end up with a migraine.

Don’t tell grandma about the stimulus bill’s dirty little secret

The $800 billion economic stimulus package being forced through the House and Senate by President Obama was originally intended to create growth in the economy, i.e. jobs. The president continues to vaguely promote that premise, but the reality is that the bill has become little more than a spending frenzy where the Democrats are scrambling to attach every pet-project and special interest kickback imaginable.

Fairness doctrine, shmairness doctrine

Freedom of the press, an essential First Amendment right, is often viewed as a cornerstone of American liberty, and the press, a sacred institution not to be touched. It is no surprise, then, that policies like the Fairness Doctrine, which would regulate the political content of broadband mediums like talk radio so that equal time has to be given for liberals and conservatives, raise ire and suspicion among many Americans – even when the American President shows no interest in supporting such a policy.

Mortgage rescue plan: good for some, others left behind

It’s not a good time to be a homeowner in this country. Prices are in the gutter, and the general state of the economy means that few people can actually afford to purchase a home. Many Americans are stuck in overwhelming mortgages, with the risk of default looming in the near future. The Department of Housing and Urban Development reported 2.2 million foreclosures last year, and expects that up to 6 million more could wind up forfeiting their real estate in the next few years.

That which absorbs all light

OK, so the mic was on, and I didn’t realize it. You’ve probably heard – yes, I said the “N word” in a television studio. I know it’s a bad word, but it’s just so hard not to say it, you know? Everyone else says it, right? Well, apart from white people of course – woe be to the white oppressor that I catch using the “N word.”

March 2009

Pleasure Island mentality

There are many exciting places to go for spring break, but there is a new destination right here in America that seems to be drawing everyone from college students to Baby Boomers. It’s more of a mentality than an actual destination, at least for now.

Seven tips to engineering exceptional excuses

You’ve probably made one or two excuses since you arrived on campus. I know I have. Maybe you procrastinated on that paper a few hours too many. Or maybe, when 3 a.m. rolled around, you fell asleep at your computer and lay drooling on your keyboard until 10 in the morning.

Colorado bill extends protection to many

A bill in the state legislature that would allow unmarried adults to enter into designated beneficiary agreements has outraged some Republicans. HB1260 would provide access to designated beneficiary agreements through the County Clerks’ offices for a small administrative fee.

Working Americans are in trouble, and unions can help

One of the older debates in our country has just received a modern spin – are unions a net positive or negative influence on our country? Can they be utilized to help working Americans take positive financial strides against the strong winds of economic turmoil? Part of the answer to these questions lies within the Obama administration’s latest hot-ticket item: the Employee Free Choice Act. Love it or hate it, it’s a measure that figures to see net gains in the working American’s ability to keep from being left behind in a sea of corporate bailouts and CEO compensation packages.

Biden to organized labor: “Let’s dance”

“You know, you go home with them that brung you to the dance.”

Orange history month

The color orange has made social strides in recent decades, but discrimination based on color has not yet been eradicated in many spheres. In order to take a much needed step toward boosting awareness of the accomplishments of the color orange, we, the Orange Representatives Against Negative, Gloss-based Exclusionary Speech (ORANGES), wish to propose the designation of the month of March as Orange History Month.

My fellow janitors

Are you ever struck by how much of life is devoted to maintenance? It strikes me like a cold, wet mop to the face. So many hours of my day are devoted to maintaining things – maintaining my body, my home, my car. … In fact, everyone I know devotes nearly all his or her time to maintenance in one way or another.

Ethics be damned

In a blatant slap to the face of conservatives, Catholics, members of the Christian right, right-to-lifers, ethicists and most Republicans, President Obama signed an order abolishing the Bush-era limits on stem-cell research.

The greatest wrong is doing nothing

President Obama recently issued an executive order overturning Bush-era policy limiting federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, raising conservative hackles amidst accusations of ethical foul-play. Opponents of embryonic stem cell research claim that scientists are tampering with human life. Many assert that adult stem cells derived from organs are just as effective for research purposes.