Top 10 things to do instead of watch the Super Bowl

If you, like me, are bored out of your skull at the mere mention of football and have eyes that glaze over like those of a dead fish at the prospect of another four hellish hours of Super Bowl, then this list of things to do instead of watching the game may help you loathe this coming Sunday just a little bit less.

10. Read a book or watch a movie – You know how you started "Crime and Punishment" and swore to yourself you'd finish it someday, just to see what the hullabaloo was? Well, here's your chance. Or, hell, just go watch "Hot Tub Time Machine" for the fourteenth time.

9. Take a nap – Sleep is always a viable, worthwhile pastime. I've never heard a college student say, "My one regret is that I slept too much."

8. Reconnect with an old friend – This only works if they also would rather be hit across the face with a frying pan than watch the Super Bowl, of course. Meet up at one of the city's deserted coffee shops, or chat on the phone – or, if you haven't any friends that loathe hulky men in tights chasing a small casement made of pig, write a letter.

7. File your taxes – No one likes doing their taxes, no matter when it happens. Why not seize the chance to be alone and crank them out ahead of schedule? Throw on some tunes, grab some wings and try to ignore the shouting coming from the next room.

6. Learn a new skill – Tired of being boring at parties? With four hours, plenty of bandages and a little willingness to nut up, you can learn to ride a unicycle. Or a pogo stick. Or paint like Jackson Pollock. Or, if you want to be super interesting, to the point of missing a few fingers, juggle chainsaws.

5. Study – You're already 300 pages behind. You should probably get on that.

4. Be civilly attentive – For those four hours, you can cuddle an abandoned puppy or help package relief supplies for children in Ethiopia. That way, next time you see one of those heart-wrenching commercials set to a Sarah McLachlan song, you can feel like a slightly less awful person.

3. Throw an anti-Super Bowl party – Barricade yourself in a cozy room with delicious snacks and cheesy movies, order a pizza and let the awesome that is not football wash over you.

2. Remember those resolutions you made last month and already forgot about? Hit the gym, fatty. Remember your headphones, though, because the game will probably be on the TVs above the treadmills.

1. Seek a soul mate – Anyone you meet out and about on Super Bowl day is a potential love of your life. Go shopping, hit the zoo, or just wander about aimlessly downtown, seeking that one true love who, like you, hates football.