Cheech and Chong Aren’t Here, Man: Top 5 films, dude

The stoner movie is an unloved, ignominious subgenre, populated by disposable straight-to-DVD fare with cheeky titles such as "Sex Pot" and "Evil Bong." The driving idea behind these movies is that potheads, inebriated as they tend to be, are easily seduced by entertainment laced with sophomoric humor and generous nudity; therefore, all a story requires to succeed with a stoner audience is a central duo of blazed goofballs on a shiftless odyssey with some low-stakes conflict, interrupted with plenty of boobs and Buddha breaks. I've also noticed that these films are often anachronistically childish – Dave Chapelle once remarked that "Half Baked" was essentially "a kid's movie about weed" – and tend to fetishize marijuana and exaggerate its psycho-active properties.

The movies I chose from the stoner movie canon are true diamonds in the rough, and were selected for ranking according to the following criteria:

   1. Is the film visually appealing to an intoxicating degree?

   2. Do the characters seem authentic and relatable?

   3. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, is the movie about more than just getting high?

The following are all great movies in their own right and should prove to delight tokers and teetotalers alike. 

5. Friday

"Friday" begins with Chris Tucker's voice over black leter, uttering the immortal line, "I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today. ‘Cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do." A humble ambition perhaps, but one that became a rallying cry for smokers everywhere. "Friday" is the most traditional stoner movie on this list: a classic of the home video market that has been eclipsed by its inferior successive sequels that foolishly cast Michael Epps in the role Tucker immortalized, the movie stands up to repeat viewing on the strength of the performances and the authenticity of the low-key story by Ice Cube and DJ Pooh.

4. American Beauty

An ounce of G13 haze coupled with persistent Lolita fantasies about a rose petal bedazzled Mena Suvari is all it takes to stir Kevin Spacey from his suburban ennui in the debut feature from English theatre director Sam Mendes. "American Beauty" is a visually sumptuous film full of elaborate dream sequences, teen and middle-aged angst framed by an inventive narrative twist. The film also has the rare distinction of being the most pro-weed Best Picture Winner in history.

3. Jackie Brown

Though describing Quentin Tarantino's criminally underrated third feature film as a stoner movie seems reductive, as "Jackie Brown" is an equally excellent heist story, literary adaptation and homage to Blaxploitation cinema. However, an early scene that features Bridget Fonda and Robert DeNiro bonding over bong hits establishes a freewheeling vibe for the rest of the movie and plays a crucial role in the development of the unlikely and ultimately doomed pair. Tarantino's films have a seemingly effortless visual panache and often reward viewers with a unique balance of meta and visceral entertainment.

2. Pineapple Express

 "Pineapple Express" is by far the most successful stoner movie to ever hit screens. Anchored by relatable performances by Seth Rogen and a never-funnier James Franco, "Pineapple Express" proceeds according to the hazy logic of two paranoid potheads, whose every suspicion is confirmed until the conflict erupts into an action movie. Such drastic shifts in tone would wear thin in the hands of a less capable director, but David Gordon Green, the indie stalwart behind critical darlings such as George Washington and Snow Angels, balances whimsy with sentiment, arriving at a relentlessly entertaining movie.